Broccoli rabe stuffed shells with spicy tomato sauce and fried breadcrumbs

a classic all grown up

I’m 32 and for most of my life I’ve felt a bit late to the party. Up until last year I didn’t have a lot marked off on my adult bingo card: a house or somewhat “grown up feeling” apartment, solid job, a baby, dental insurance….etc. Obviously these are meaningless markers, but still, I felt behind. Then, I got married in October and suddenly I feel like I’ve been launched into full fledged adulthood. Again, I am 32. I’ve literally and emotionally felt like an adult for awhile now. But, this feels like…very adult. In the last few months we bought a house in a neighborhood that strikes me, only now, as the kind of place where people move once they’ve already procreated. On top of all that, I joined a book club (perhaps the most grown up thing of all?), and suddenly I have multiple friends who are pregnant.

I could delve into the psychic struggle of being a woman in her 30’s who is genuinely excited about the prospect of becoming a mom while also feeling like I just figured out my career. I finally stopped being completely broke—like, yesterday—and I don’t want to disrupt that forward momentum. I have big dreams, but I also don’t want to overemphasize the importance of career in my life and, in doing so, miss out on actually living life (after all, my main job is to LIVE, is it not??). And then there’s maybe the greatest fear of all, which is that whether I have kids or not, the very fact that I am now in the phase of life where people are doing that sort of thing, means that the nature of my female friendships will likely change either way. Breathe.

But instead, I’ll just say that people I care about are starting to create actual tiny humans, and while that brings up a lot of feelings, at its core, it’s very exciting.

I saw a quote recently that said “everyone wants a village but no one wants to be a villager” and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. I want to be someone who really shows up for the people in my life. I think I do this already but sometimes a lack of planning means that I only think of something I could have done after the fact. So here I am, ready to be villager—I’m making freezer meals.

Recently, for meal delivery I made about 100 portions of stuffed shells and I vowed to never make them again (I misjudged the amount of filling I would need and a last minute run to the store meant that the project took about 3 times as long as it needed to), but the thing is, pasta casseroles make for really good freezer meals. I want to make easy dishes that reheat well, are comforting/craveable, but also feel like a well rounded, wholesome meal. These fit the bill. And in the spirit of adulthood, I’ve made what feels like a grown up version, subbing out the spinach with bitter broccoli rabe to cut through the rich ricotta and Parmesan filling, spiced up the tomato sauce just a little, and topped the whole thing with garlicky fried bread crumbs. New mom or not, you’re going to want to make these.